Indigo Answers - 100th Monkey

LET GO OF THE OUTCOME: Advice for Reiki Students

by Margo Ross

You are a Healer and a human. You have a natural drive to help. You may find yourself focusing the outcome of your Reiki treatment (you WANT the headache to go away, you WANT the person to feel heat from your hands, you believe the client would do better without a broken heart, etc.). Our egos are a big part of that natural drive.

It helps to remember that Ego has one motive: to protect. It wants to protect either itself or you. Ego seeks to maintain “status quo” or keep things predictable so it can anticipate any conflicts or challenges. If something unpredicted happens then ego may not know what to do and that is stressful. Also, ego knows it will lose its control over you as you grow and evolve with new ideas, insights, and understandings, so you may encounter resistance from Ego as you acquire healing.

How does Ego protect and control you? By insisting on limits and limiting thoughts. That shapes your intentions, which in turn shape (or limit) your reality. Ego will tell you, "I'm not good enough to handle this" (inhibition) or "if I explain/ talk/show them enough, they'll trust me/respect me" (over-compensation) or "I've stopped headaches before, I know I can do it again" (assumption) or "I'm angry at my sister, so I got to help this situation." (emotional attachment). These thoughts and feelings are very normal and 99% of everyone has them.

As a healer, Ego naturally jumps into helping people we perceive to be in need, ill, or disadvantaged. That is what healers do…we see a need and try to help. We may assume (ego) we know what is best for that person. For example, a co-worker has a headache and sore throat so you treat his head and neck, expecting a report of pain-reduction or relief. The problem arises when the expectation is not met & client doesn’t feel better. As you know and must remember, Reiki is guided by the Higher Power, not the practitioner, so it will treat the highest needs first, whether we know what that is or not. Therefore, sometimes the result is different from the expectation.

Let’s say that the co-worker’s illness remains, so he stays home from work. He gets a ton of needed sleep and he wakes up refreshed. He also engages his son in an overdue parent-child conversation and they are very happy. Would you wish to bypass those higher needs and results by curing the headache first?! Of course not. Can you always predict all those later benefits? Probably not. Is that okay? Yes!!

Ego doesn’t like to admit it cannot predict (or control) everything. It will try different tactics to get things back in its control. It will tell you negative and worrisome things to limit you: “I must have failed when his headache didn’t leave.” “Did I make it worse and cause him to miss work?” or “Am I pretending to be something which I really am not?” or “Is God offended by my actions?” When you hear disparaging thoughts like these, stop.

You are healing people
you are spreading real love
Reiki can do NO harm
it’s perfectly safe to let go of the outcome without judgment or qualifying it in any way

However, you are now at the “next level” of things and a new perspective is needed that will empower you, as a healer and as human in general. Bypass your ego. Let go of the outcome! Let the higher vibrations flow without limitations from your ego or emotions. This is sometimes described as “professional detachment” but it’s a skill you can develop for going higher than just the ego’s level of perception.

You’ve felt Reiki; you shared treatments in class, and heard comments on your Reiki. Out in the world, some people will draw a lot of Reiki from you, some draw a little, and some will seem to pull none. When nothing seems to happen, then there are many things to consider and do:

Do not take the incident personally; know that the client simply is not yet ready to heal.
Reflect quietly: all life events are mirrors, so what healing in my life am I also refusing?
If your hands are still going, treat yourself next
Be confident in your informed practitioner’s knowledge that you DID affect some healing somewhere in that client’s life, at the right amount, and it’s irrelevant if anyone knows it.

Remember Free Will: Reiki responds to a client’s free will. If healing is not wanted, then it behooves us to not insist because Reiki does not insist. What can one do when ego is interfering and worry or doubt sets in? See it for what it is and go forward. Recognize ego: When you feel pain, anxiety, worry, or self-doubt that is your ego struggling to re-gain control. When you have an emotional attachment to someone’s healing process, that too is ego responding. Sometimes, ego will try to justify its fears with told-you-so’s, touting detox symptoms and healing crises and observations of delayed results. Re-assure yourself that detox is only negative energies being released from the body. Healing crises are temporary socio-emotional results from mental and emotional and spiritual healing. Delays are free will reactions, thus not for us to concern ourselves with. That is all, its nothing else and experience will make this more apparent to you over time. Remember to train your mind to just let go of the outcome.

Remain aware that you also benefit from every Reiki treatment you give! You get some and the client gets most. If you are in higher need of healing, consider treating yourself first to minimize the diversion to you. You are very deserving of receiving Reiki, too, so enjoy the experience with the client.

Remember the innate goodness, safety, flexibility, and protection that Reiki affords all who use or receive it. As we face our ego challenges, fears, and new levels of healing and awareness, you will grow with less struggle in beautiful ways that are perfect for you! Let go of the outcome of all of your treatments, relax and just enjoy the contact, the Reiki, the moment and the sharing.